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Have you ever come across a Queen Bee?

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“In a beehive, the Queen is the only member of the hive who can sting multiple times without dying. In human society, the dominant woman in a group may enjoy similar power over her subordinates.”

 

Too often that power is used to belittle and demean other females in her orbit to maintain her position.”

 Unfortunately, there are more Queen Bees around than you might think – so much so that the Daily Mail interviewed me about where they come from and how to handle them.

To promote Anti-Bullying Week, I spilt the tea on how to tame that Queen Bee so you can get on with your life….

“We all know them. In adulthood, the Queen Bee dominates her colleagues and plays members of her social circle off against each other, in order to maintain her authority. At this time of year, she’ll be holding court, the best bake-off at fundraisers, lavished with Christmas cards and presents from her followers, perfectly dressed children at the school gates all kitted out with the most fashionable Christmas party wear.

 

Why does she behave this way? The grim truth is some women, driven by a super-competitive nature, can be poisonous to one another. Jealousy can also play its part.

 

So, what can we do to tame that sting? 

In a social circle, let’s say the group’s focus leaves her and falls upon what you’re saying, they will quickly pull the attention back away. A trick to de-sting is to bring the other women at the table into the conversation.

“What would you have done?”

“How’re you feeling about…”

or “Tell me what happened with…”

In the workplace, if your Queen uses intimidation as a tool to keep you down, then next time you feel the nasty whip from her words, try the power pause. Breathe deeply, reducing the levels of the stress hormone cortisol and calmly work out the best response.”

To read more about these tactics, check out my full interview in the Daily Mail or the assertiveness chapter of my book, Power Up, available to purchase, here.

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© Antoinette Dale Henderson
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