One of the questions I’m asked most often is:
“How do I become a more confident presenter?”
People usually expect me to start talking about body language, storytelling, vocal variety or how to structure a presentation. And they’re right to. Those things absolutely matter.
In fact, one of the things I love most about delivering presenting with gravitas masterclasses is equipping people with tangible tools they can use immediately: how to use their voice more intentionally, how to signpost, how to land key messages, how to use silence, how to use body language to own a room and, perhaps most importantly, how not to resemble a deer in headlights when standing in front of an audience.
However, these techniques are only one part of the story.
Why Presentation Confidence Is About More Than Presentation Skills
I’ve come to believe that presenting with gravitas isn’t just about mastering a set of techniques. The internal work that underpins all of this is absolutely key.
Firstly, because of the value that’s placed on authenticity.
And secondly, because I’ve observed time and time again that people can have a pocketful of wonderful presenting techniques, but they can only take us so far if our internal dialogue is undermining us.
Why Self-Talk Matters Before Every Presentation
Do you remember the very first time you stood on a stage? Or perhaps the first time you had to perform, present, introduce yourself or simply speak in front of a room full of people?
What images, feelings, sensations come up for you?
As I write this, I can almost feel a familiar knot beginning to form in my stomach as I take myself back to pre-school.
There I was, dressed in a wonderfully questionable Little Bo Peep costume, lovingly stitched together by my mum, standing under bright lights feeling completely and utterly exposed. I don’t remember exactly what I was supposed to be saying, but I vividly remember the sensation of not wanting to be there. I felt awkward. Deeply self-conscious. Like a deer caught in headlights. I suspect if anyone had offered me an invisibility cloak at that precise moment, I would have gladly accepted!
Fast forward to primary school. Although I grew up in England, my mum is Swiss and spoke French to me from the moment I was born. So when I arrived at primary school for the very first time, I found myself in a slightly peculiar position… I could only speak French in an English speaking school.
I remember feeling what I can only describe now as an absolute imposter. Conspicuously different. Unable to communicate. For context, I share more about this experience in my TEDx Talk, Gender Equality: The New Power Dynamic.
Now, reading this, and knowing that I have a TEDx talk sitting out there on the internet for anyone in the world to watch, you might reasonably be wondering how on earth I got from being the little girl who wanted to disappear from a pre-school stage, and the child who couldn’t communicate in the way everyone around her seemed to effortlessly do, to someone who built a career in global PR communications flying from country to country pitching to clients and now has keynote speaking and delivering masterclasses on speaking with gravitas as a key part of what they do.
Why Many Leaders Struggle With Presentation Confidence
One of the biggest traps I see in my work coaching leaders on presenting with gravitas is many, whether they consciously know it or not, take an experience they’ve had and turn it into who they are; their identity.
Almost every programme I deliver includes someone saying:
“I’m just not a confident presenter.”
“Public speaking isn’t really my thing.”
“I’m not naturally confident.”
What fascinates me is the certainty with which these statements are shared. As though they’re describing their height or eye colour. Interestingly, internally they have become facts. Truths. Fixed parts of their identity.
And yet I often wonder how many of these statements are simply descriptions of an experience someone once had, perhaps years ago, which over time quietly evolved into a definition of who they believe themselves to be.
I suspect we all have our own version of this.
The stories we tell ourselves matter. The scripts we have running in the background influence and form our mindset. There is a huge difference psychologically and energetically between:
“I am nervous” to “I’m noticing nerves.”. One becomes part of our identity. The other is simply a passing state.
In the moment we boldly claim that we’re this or not that, we’ve pre-determined our fate for ourselves, leaving very little room for growth, regardless of how many ‘confidence’ or ‘public speaking’ techniques we have tucked away in our toolkit.
And look, I’m not naïve enough to think that there will never be a situation where nerves or anxiety could have a negative impact on me. As I said, I’m not superhuman! I see this as part of my strategy for comfort zone expansion! And I’ve learnt to trust myself and lean on the tools and techniques I’ve developed over the years to channel that energy productively.
So, an invitation this week is to ask yourself: if certain words no longer serve you and what you want to achieve in life, do they still deserve a place in your vocabulary at all?
How to Build Presentation Confidence: 4 Practical Steps
Step 1: Listen carefully to the language you use to describe yourself over the coming days. Are you making statements about who you are – “I am nervous,” “I’m not confident,” “I’m terrible at presenting” – or are you simply describing an experience you’re having in that moment?
Step 2: Experiment with reframing those statements. See what happens when “I am…” becomes “I am feeling…” or “I am experiencing…”. For example, “I am nervous” might become “I’m noticing some nerves today.”
Step 3: Pay attention to what shifts. Does your breathing soften? Do your shoulders relax? Do you find yourself behaving differently, feeling more open to possibility, or more willing to put yourself forward?
Step 4: Finally, ask yourself whether there are certain words you’ve been carrying around for years that no longer serve you, your aspirations or the person you’re becoming. If so, perhaps it’s time to gently retire them and consciously choose language that better serves you.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How do I stop feeling nervous before a presentation?
The goal isn’t to eliminate nerves altogether. Nerves are a natural physiological response. Instead, focus on changing your relationship with them. Rather than saying “I am nervous,” try noticing “I’m experiencing some nerves.” That subtle shift helps prevent a temporary feeling from becoming part of your identity.
Can introverts become confident presenters?
Absolutely. In fact, I’ve worked with thousands of leaders across the entire introversion-extraversion spectrum who have developed the skills and mindset to present with gravitas. One of the biggest misconceptions is that gravitas belongs only to naturally outgoing people. It doesn’t. There is no single style of gravitas. The most compelling leaders don’t try to imitate someone else, they develop an authentic style that reflects who they are. For more details on the 6 keys to impact and influence, read my book: Leading With Gravitas.
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Help Your People Present with Greater Confidence and Gravitas
For People Leaders reading this, if you’re looking to support your people to present with greater gravitas, communicate their expertise more effectively and show up with increased confidence in the moments that matter, I’d be delighted to help.
Speaking with Gravitas Masterclass
Practical, evidence-based development masterclasses that equip individuals with the mindset, tools and techniques to communicate with greater confidence, clarity and impact. Find out more.
Keynote Speaking
Inspiring and thought-provoking keynote presentations designed to help audiences rethink how they communicate, lead and show up in the moments that matter. Find out more.
